He is an equal opportunity slut.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
