Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
