she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize