She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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