I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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