Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
