Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
pop tarts are not kleenex
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
