So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
