What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize