Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
