I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
