Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
