I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize