I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
