I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
