hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
