you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
