Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
