Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
