i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
