FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
