The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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