Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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