My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
