He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
