We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
