i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
