Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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