Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize