hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
