So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize