i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize