I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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