My nipple is on Facebook.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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