you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
