worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
