Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
