Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
BRING THE BAGELS
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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