your parents love me but you hate me
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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