I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
