Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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