Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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