On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
