so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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