where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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