Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize