Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Too much gin, very little bucket
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
