I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
