I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
