Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
