who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
