Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
birth control should be required to get into college
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
