Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
