Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
