I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
