I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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