that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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