Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
