Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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