He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
