You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
